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⋆ hello. for my first and most probably last post here, you are more than welcome to watch my try to explain what even is the maphinz dynamic in my head. or at least try and figure it out without embarrassing myself, because truly, what do you say about maphinz that user delilahprofitt on ao3 hasn’t already written into existence like scripture in her fanfics? she has their dynamic locked and loaded and impressively fleshed out just the way i like. i am but a humble peasant scavenging crumbs behind her.

(this is truly going to be nothingburgers, but, oh well. i already started it. might as well finish my coke rant.)

anyways. maphinz. as someone who’s been in multiple fandoms, i would say they’re kind of the holy grail when it comes to katseye ships, which is also why they were the first ship to really get popular. they have a backstory. you can start every single canon-compliant maphinz fanfic with “so, they weren’t exactly fond of each other during dream academy” and everyone knows exactly what you mean. we know that story. it’s baked in. the tension, the clash, the reluctant respect. and there’s always a moment, the cathartic shift that explains how they became the manon and sophia we know now that usually involves them hate fucking. it’s a formula. and it works. but oh well, life is not a fanfiction, so...

i don’t want to touch on the super easy, obvious stuff anyone who thinks about maphinz immediately has their mind directed to. because i think a lot of people go the easy route with them. like, the expected one. the “they’re so different” route, the “opposites attract” thing. sophia overthinks; manon does not. sophia is the steady hand; manon is the blowing wind. to the point they clashed on that hot mess, nightmare of an experience that the sickos under hxg like to call “dream academy”. which has somehow officially sold them to the public as the enemies-to-lovers trope that taengsic truthers never got closure from. and yes, that dynamic is ripe. it’s delicious. it writes angst like butter sliding down a knife. but it’s also only just the tip (no sexual innuendo intended).

that dynamic is interesting and engaging on its own, and is the first thing that pulls you in (besides being the reason maphinz is popular to begin with). but the thing that gets me about them, the part that makes my brain rot and regenerate like a lizard’s tail, is not that they didn’t meet in the middle. it’s that they did. that now, somehow, they do spend time together.

now, i will be the first to admit it: maphinz are not the closest. i’d be silly to pretend they are, because they’re not. daniela is, arguably, both manon's and sophia's closest friend in katseye. and daniela is daniela. she’s fiercely loyal, expansive, all-consuming in the best way. she’s shaped like a friend, like she's a muffin baked in a friend-mold. it makes sense that with her, they both have what you’d instinctively read as the most classic best friend dynamic.

sodani have that quintessential girly teen girl friendship that’s all constant skinship, endless compliments, forehead kisses and “you’re the light of my life”s. sodani are a loud cacophony of laughter and helping e/o text, eugh, boys. sophia tells daniela she has the kind of smile that could light up a stranger’s day. it does not mean anything besides the fact that they have so much care for each other. it’s a promise to always be this warm and sickeningly sweet. and danon, well. they’re their own thing, something even deeper than megara, i would dare say. they have this very specific twinnism (not a real word) to me, it’s the most real and relatable celebrity friendship i’ve ever seen, from the inside jokes to the petty fights. they’re silly. they’re honest. they bicker like sisters. they fight. they get over it, and then tell us about it while laughing at the absurdity of it all.

and i don’t think that’s true for sodani, actually. i imagine sophia is a bit too conflict-avoidant unless something rubs up against what she values most: discipline. if she gets in a disagreement with a member, it’s probably a very composed, “let’s have a respectful conversation about this” situation, even when the tension is so obvious you could cut it with a knife. and if that member happens to be daniela (who we know will not budge, who stood her ground during dream academy and got labeled with a ‘bad attitude’ just for standing up for herself) it’s probably a soft war of wills that no one else really notices but lingers anyway.

ok so, sodani and danon. where do i think maphinz falls in the middle of that? what do they have to offer? i think there’s something in their dynamic that’s different from all the others — quieter, maybe, or just harder to name. and even i don’t really know how to explain it, because how do you, when there’s so little to go on and all that’s left is acting like a lunatic woman hunched over pixels, dissecting micro-interactions.

thank god i’m a pigeon and i thrive on crumbs.

i won’t tinhat (again, for the 37294th time) about the joint food orders or them watching a freaking stray kids member instagram live and commenting the same dumb stuff like middle school besties giggling under the covers during a sleepover. i could, because it means so much to me that they get to be the young girls they actually are when they’re with each other (not the ‘older members’, not the ones with a responsibility over the others). just two barely-formed adults, freshly 23 and almost 23, crushing on hyunjin’s gay self like they’re supposed to.

i always think about how sophia has said that when yoonchae was announced as a member of katseye, she instantly felt the weight of needing to care for her. like, of course she did. yoonchae’s parents are far away. someone had to step in, and what a responsibility to put on a girl who was, at the time, only 20. and then there’s manon, who so clearly thinks half of what comes with being a celebrity is bullshit and deeply unhealthy, and it bothers her. she cares about the girls so much. we know that. and yet, what can she do, really, except be doomed to the role of the Cool Older Girl. the one megan giggles around like a freshman getting attention from the unattainable senior. what can either of them do, really, if not accept this fuckass role the sacred year of 2002 has already written for them?

but that’s not the point. the point is: sophia was seen tagging along for a manon hangout with sophie. as in, manon’s sophie, one of the most important people in her world, and to me that really shines a light on just how much space manon truly holds for sophia in her life outside of being groupmates. and there was the time manon grabbed sophia’s face at humberto’s birthday for a millisecond and it hasn't left my mind since. i know manon’s european and sophia's a filipino and the whole "let me seductively cradle your jaw" thing is normal for them because that’s just how they roll, but still. intimacy is intimacy. maphinz = true intimacy. and most importantly, onika = burgers.

people are so annoying about duos that aren’t together all the time. maphinz still have their share of moments (even if they’re stupid ones, like that “i’m vampire today” video or sophia saying she’s having manon’s child or manon learning the word chingu from sophia’s retired koreaboo ass). they still go live talking about loving their swiss side and promising a joint stream. they still straight up start reading maphinz fanfiction for everyone to see because why the fuck not.

and that gets me. because they know they’re a popular pairing. and sophia won’t bat an eye at fanservicing with daniela, it’s like second nature to her. but that’s not how manon rolls, and sophia knows that. so we’re left with these small, intimate moments that feel like we weren’t even supposed to see them. like when manon caresses sophia’s arm during my way, or holds it in a way the choreo absolutely doesn’t ask for. or how, at the end, sophia just rests her hand on manon’s shoulder and flashes one of her big Miss Philippines smiles, and manon gently places her hand on top of sophia’s. and it’s the littlest thing, but manon and sophia are really not often all over each other at all. so when it happens, it’s like, woah. yeah, i forgot they’re fond of each other. look at them. look at them smiling.

i think that, in a lot of ways, they have what the other lack. and not in a poetic ying yang way. they are like the wrong ingredients to make a pie. one (sophia) used too much flour, the other (manon) forgot the baking soda, neither knows what temperature the oven should be, but maybe together they make something edible. maybe they balance the disaster out. which means they should probably join forces to bake the pie together, right?

sophia overthinks. overfeels. overworries. she’s overprepared, overcontrolled, overcarried. it’s clear to me that she does want to be the steady anchor (ha, see what i did there?), the shoulder to rely on, the One Who Knows. you can tell she wants to be a rock for the girls so bad, someone they can go to to talk about their worries and problems, someone who won’t waver and offer endless support. and i love her so much that i’m begging you all not to tell her that she cannot be those things all the time. because she tries. and she tries. and she tries.

god, how sophia clings to that kind, nurturing, maternal leader role. and it’s not really something western audiences care about. take fifth harmony or one direction, for example. the ‘leader’ figures were ally brooke and liam payne. as in, ally brooke, whose name barely anyone remembers, and liam payne, who, until his last breath, milked the 1D glory days for everything they’re worth because he got left behind.

we’re talking about a filipina girl, the philippines being basically the second home of kpop. those were her references: kpop idols. kpop leaders. sophia was an army, for god's sake. her leader figure is namjoon. she is an engene and somehow managed to pick jungwon as her bias. jungwon, who isn’t even particularly charming, but he’s the leader. that’s her instinct. because sophia leads. she was class president. she was the leader of her silly dream academy units. she was the lead in every school play, according to her mother. she’s so obsessed with diligence and professionalism and self-care that she doesn’t drink coffee before singing, doesn’t use mouthwash because it dries out your throat, won’t touch milk or fizzy drinks to prevent herself from burping.

picture this: sophia writes herself a letter every night and ends it by telling herself she’s pretty and she loves herself. that girl is not normal. and she doesn’t even know it. and i am fully convinced i know her better than she knows herself.

point is, she fanservices like a kpop idol. that woman wasn’t expecting katseye to be the kind of group where, if marzini are caught screaming in a hotel filled with other guests and she tells them to shush, she gets called annoying for it under tiktok comments. and what can a girl even do in a culture where being the group leader doesn’t mean much at all?

that’s why she has such a hard time translating to the gp. that’s why, when people take notice of katseye, it’s usually marzini. or megan, if they catch her talking about roblox and being bisexual and just charming everyone by being unapologetically herself. and sophia is, well. sophia. i read this excerpt of a blog entry (thanks to a dear australian friend) that described her as someone constricted by the walls of her persona, struggling to shed her layers as effectively as the other members. it made me want to gut myself, because it’s true. it made me want to gut myself, because anyone who’s not already an eyekon won’t be interested in deconstructing those layers the way i am.

because, you see; there you have this girl. this girl who graduated with honors. this girl who grew up rich, doing musical theatre and learning how to hit all the marks and sing all the notes perfectly, hearing from her actress mother that she was special her entire life. this middle child, the only girl in her household. this girl who built such a prissy, proper persona around herself you could sing “look at me, i’m sandra dee” as parody to mock her and it would fit. there you have her. and you give her the leader role. and i know she was jumping and clapping excitedly, raising her thick brows like a little puppy at the idea of Leading, not knowing she was condemning herself to a future of ultimate Doom and Despair.

not that i think she’s upset about it or anything. we all know sophia is emotionally mature, collected, grounded in her values. maybe too much, hence the dream academy drama. but that’s just her. she’s rational. and manon is, too, but in a very different way.

i think people don’t really properly read into manon, which is so interesting to me. her haters and her fans move the same way: projecting. you’ve got haters saying, “manon is lazy. she doesn’t really care about katseye.” and you’ve got fans saying, “manon wants better for herself. she doesn’t really care about katseye.”. and at first glance, it’s kind of insane, how comfortable people feel projecting all this stuff onto manon when she’s so... blunt. so upfront.

i mean, manon is not the type to take orders with a smile and a “yes, sir” (hello, sophia). if she thinks a script is silly, she’ll laugh. if she’s weirded out by haters, she’ll say so. if she thinks the whole let’s-wait-to-announce-the-tour strategy is dumb, she’ll announce it herself and leave lara absolutely frozen like what the fuck just happened. and when sophia (and lara, who in my eyes is honestly the member most comfortable with the life they’re living) are sweating bullets trying to keep a live on track, manon is the one who’ll remind us she doesn’t really give a fuck.

but manon is also, mayhaps, the most reserved member. no, scratch that: manon is the most reserved member. she decides what she shares. she guards her privacy. what we do know is that she’s cool, she's artsy, she's the funniest person alive. she writes songs (because she’s a cancer, of course she does). she paints. she plays piano. she’s one of those quietly perfect people who never brags about being good at anything, but she is.

you look at manon and think you get it, you get her stylish laidback deal. and then she opens her mouth and says something so absurd, so precise, so real or so caring and lovely that it knocks the wind out of you. she’s not here to impress anyone, and yet she still does. she does even when she’s not here to explain herself or buy a certain image. she’s just here.

and when sophia is the girl trying to be everything to everyone, manon is the girl who refuses to be anything but herself. that’s why their fans despise each other, because they project. sophia stans see their girl working herself to the bone and not getting half the recognition. manon stans see their girl being dismissed and overlooked when she has worked hard time and time again to prove that she does care. both think the other has it easier. both are definitely, definitely wrong (add a laughing soundtrack here, knowing how hxg has been treating both of them lately...).

it goes both ways, kind of. people love playing (monster high) dolls with katseye, and instead of making them do something interesting (like kiss, for example) they pit the girls against each other. at the end of the day, somewhere between those lines is the truth: both of them are selfish in how they’re completely selfless. both of them are trying to survive this monster of a career that skyrocketed super fast the only way they know how. sophia overthinks. manon under-explains. but i don’t think either wants to give the world anything they don’t absolutely have to.

they’re not a perfect fit, but they’re a real one. and that’s what makes maphinz so interesting to me. because their differences don’t make them clash anymore; they click. quietly, privately, unexpectedly.
part of the reason i love maphinz so much is because manon could never give sophia the kind of textbook romance she probably wants. so i love thinking about aus where sophia still gets roped into it and falls anyway despite all the mess, the less-than-ideal, the unconventional and it just turns her little glass world upside down.

i think their similarities lie in how different they are. how one has waited for this her entire life and earned it through years of pursuit. and how the other was wishing and hoping, and then was given the opportunity and thought it was just too good to be true. it’s the fact that… they give so much of themselves, but only in ways they can control. lara is, without question, the katseye member best equipped to handle it. she was born for stardom, she knew from the start she’d have the spotlight, and it doesn’t scare her. megan, on the other hand, is anxious. she finds it nerve-wracking to be under this much attention after finally getting what she tirelessly worked for, year after year, since she was little. daniela and yoonchae are maybe the most well-adjusted, as they are masters in protecting their inner peace. (which is especially impressive in daniela’s case, considering her past as a tv dream-chaser girl doing auditorium shows. but maybe that serenity comes from growing up white, straight, and a cheerleader. the world has already built cushions around her).

sophia and manon, for me, are different. while all the girls are adjusting to this life in their own ways and at their own pace, those two exist on opposite ends of the spectrum. both of them carry so much responsibility over this chance; maybe because it wasn’t supposed to be their path in the first place. sophia was supposed to go to college. manon was literally brought into this.

sophia wasn’t sitting around waiting for her big break, she was quietly moving on to her plan B. manon wasn’t sitting around waiting for her big break, she had a whole other life mapped out for herself. and then, woosh. whiplash. suddenly they’re in a girl group. and it makes me want to sing “night changes” by one direction to them, then have them sing it to each other, because i’m just gay like that.

i think where sophia overcompensates in an attempt to feel and be safe, manon just… does manon. she says what she feels. she doesn’t censor herself to be palatable or right or likable. she won’t fake anything, not even comfort. and where the two of them meet in the middle is in their shared refusal to give more than they want to. they don’t perform intimacy for the public. they don’t crack open all the way. they give you only what they choose to give. and somehow, in the middle of all that contrast, they understand each other anyway.

the potential maphinz has... i think they should meet in the middle yet again. i think manon should take sophia out with all her hip LA friends and that weird mix of people she somehow always ends up around, and sophia would just let loose. and sophia should give manon one of her little curated peaceful self-care days with the face masks and ASMR and manon would lie still and let her brain be quiet amidst all the constant messes she (all the members, but mostly manz) is dragged into. and then they should fuck to blow off steam because they both need to let go. maphinz have been holding so much, i truly believe they deserve to.

maybe they should put into test, the way manon won't sacrifice her right to be carefree and how sophia is, like, on constant idol mode in a way that makes me want to bang her in the head and say it’s ok if you haven’t been posting as much, please don’t apologize, woman.

and maybe none of this is that deep. maybe they’re just two girls in a girlgroup. maybe manon will never let herself be fully known and sophia will always be tied up by the notion she intrinsically carries that she has to be perfect. maybe they’ll just keep brushing shoulders on stage during ‘tonight i might’ and exchanging smiles and doing nothing with it. this is my little delusion to keep: they’ll keep orbiting each other until they collide again, not in conflict, but in choice, and, hell, meet in the middle. that’s my phrase for the day: meeting in the middle.

and you know what, maybe they’ll fuck. maybe sophia using those three stupid color coded heart emojis and singing that gayriana grande line was intentional, maybe she’s not sick in the head and completely psychotic. and i like to believe (and this is me being completely delusional, so look away if you will boo me for it) that, even though sophia’s experimenting phase will most probably never happen, if it were to, she would go to manon. because they’re chill with each other like that. and that’s the thing about maphinz — it doesn’t have to be loud to be something i cokerant about. it just has to be theirs. there’s a deeper understanding between them, one that neither fans nor outsiders are really meant to access, and probably never will. but that doesn’t bother me, because we know.

because when manon isn’t sure of something, she looks to sophia and waits for that quiet “go on” like a green light, like proof she’s not overstepping, that she’s safe to move forward. because when sophia is given the chance to speak on manon, she does it without hesitation. and it’s not lovesick or performatively gushy, it’s better. it’s steady. it’s honest. it’s protective. and to me, that means more than any weverse live with them draped over each other ever could.

i am, however, still waiting for that weverse live. they need to give it to me. please. please, it would kill me. kill me deadly, girls.

anyways. i think anything i say won’t ever be as revealing or intimate as the things they have said to each other. so here’s what i’ll do: i’ll remind you all why i love maphinz so much, and you can draw your own conclusions. alright? here it goes:

Dear Sophia,
Happy Birthday, my lovely talented and unstoppable partner-in-crime! I honestly don't know how I'd survive this journey without you. Being in KATSEYE together has been such an adventure, and I feel so lucky to have someone as inspiring and real as you by my side. I hope this year brings you even more success, happiness, and all the things your beautiful heart deserves.
Love you to the moon and back,
Manz

My girl, how lucky I am to know you in this life & to be in this with you. You are a star in your own right and I will ride for you 'til the end. You're not just gorgeous on the outside, you have the kindest heart that shines a light on anybody who meets you.

My sweet girl,
I appreciate & love you a lot more than you know. You're an undeniable force.
Love you down, granny.
Happy 19th!
x Sophia